The rise of the phoenix… that is how I feel. Yesterday I felt so defeated and today I just stood in awe of God. I love that God takes our ashes from where we have burned ourselves out (what we burn out on is different for each person) but He takes those ashes and makes something out of them. He doesn’t just look at us and see a burn-out, washed up, down on their luck person. NO, He looks at us and see His creation, His daughters (and sons). He sees all that potential hidden deep within us just waiting to burst forth.

I love that we can go to God as we are and He will build on what is there. There is no specific change needed to go to the altar of God just go as you are in the condition you find yourself in but go with expectation that God will meet you there. And I love that the altar of God is not just found in a church… it’s wherever we cry out at. It could be your bedroom, car, bathroom, kitchen, living room, a park, the list could go. God has met me on the floor of my closet before, remember He is used to traveling around in a tent (2 Samuel 7) so meeting you where you are at is not going to offend Him. I love that God picks us up right where He finds us, the place we surrender to Him at and He immediately starts to repair the wounded, injuried places within us.

In Matthew 11 Jesus says a particular thing, something the people had never heard the religious leaders say… He says 11: ²⁸ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Weary means: tired, beat down, drained, exhausted, and shattered. He beckons those that are heavy in heart with hefty burdens, those that have lost all hope to come to Him so He could give them rest. So, He could refresh them with hope, love, and peace. I don’t know about you but to me that is cause for celebration because Jesus was not calling or seeking perfect people (they don’t exist) … He was calling real life women and men with problems. The people in Jesus day were not used to hearing that, they had been beaten down so long by the religious system telling them that they weren’t good enough they just lost hope. But Jesus came defying odds, breaking social norms, and giving hope to the unwanted… That’s my Savior, that is my God! BECAUSE those are my people the broken…

In the book of Romans, the Apostle Paul tells us to not give up on hope…  ^{Romans 5:5} And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Wherever you are at in life don’t give up on hope… The hope that Jesus brings does not disappoint but anoints us for the life He desires for us. Good afternoon Ladies…

PS. God is a seed planter of hope and in return He makes us to be seed planters of hope… hope doesn’t quit, it doesn’t give up, it perseveres. No matter what you’re facing learn to plant seeds of hope in people. Do you know why? Because hope raises us up and transforms us from those ashes… the rise of the phoenix… HOPE

Yesterday was one of those days like the movie Groundhog Day… you know where Bill Murray has to keep doing the same day over and over until he gets it right. Sigh, that seems to be my yesterday in fact my several days. I am a firm believer that “when you know to do better than better is expected of you.” I don’t know about you but lately I just find it so easy to fall into the same mistakes, doing the same wrong pattern, and feeling doomed to continue to repeat it until I finally get it right.

I woke up this morning feeling unworthy to go do the job I was about to go do… which is lead the people it’s what pastors do. All I could see was my short-comings this week. I got caught up in guilt. I want to distinguish between guilt and repentance (this became a topic today among some people). Repentance leads you to the Lord, repentance leads you to a corrective state, repentance is about over-coming and changing, repentance is about learning to do better, it leads to redemption. God corrects those He loves. The books of Hebrew and Proverbs tells us that the Lord disciplines and corrects those He loves. Guilt imprisons us, it binds us, chains us to the very thing we’ve already repented about and been given forgiveness over.

I don’t believe God brings shame to those that seek Him, shame is a disgrace… God receives us as we are through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ through GRACE! I believe God desires to bring transformation to our life but not shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are binding and destructive; God is constructive, He builds on what is already there. Guilt and shame twist the truth including God’s correction. They leave God’s love out of correction. 1 John 4:8 tells us  that God is love so if you take love out of the correction we have a problem.

Today I went to church as I usually do and I found redemption. You are probably thinking aren’t you a pastor? Yes, I am…Even leadership needs redemption least I quote all the failing leaders in the bible to you… There are just days that I need God to save me from me, put me back on the right path, and renew my heart and vision for Him. I need those things without a lecture about shame or guilt or someone throwing a bible at me (least I throw it right back at them and those books have sharp corners).

This blog is not about a perfect Christian or the niceties of such a thing… it is about being in the trenches with the Word of God, people, life, and my own struggles. True there are victories, many victories but we usually identify with one another’s struggles, we tend to compare victories and then feel bad or jealous when our victory doesn’t look like theirs. It’s my goal this week to get real with the book of James… taming the tongue. Maybe everything that comes out of your mouth is as sweet as a honeydew (or big slice of cake) … I don’t know your struggles but I hope you find peace this week and know that you don’t have to be a prisoner to guilt or shame. We struggle, we fail, we make mistakes, dust off, get back up and start again. If at first you don’t succeed…stop going alone and take the Lord with you (it really helps). 😊 Good Afternoon Ladies…

My heart is heavy this morning for several reasons.

This morning my daughter started high school, on next Monday my youngest daughter will start fourth grade and at the end of August my son will be a freshman in college… time flies, time waits for nobody, time is a thief.

Within the last week we learned that one of the mothers from my 15-year old’s school was battling cancer and sent home on hospice. Then we learned last night she lost her battle. She left behind four children and a husband and I am sure countless others that will miss her dearly. I live in a fairly small community where most people grew up with each other so this will be felt by many in our small-town city. While I did not know this woman personally (I am a transplant) I feel her loss and my heart hurts for her family.

The culture we live in has become so fast pace, we rush to here and there. We become consumed with our own life and our own struggles that we lose sight of those around us and then one-day poof it’s gone. Life is so short and we only get one shot at it; so, love well and often. Be mindful of how you love because your actions impact those around you.  At the end of the day the question we should ask ourselves is did I love people enough? How you love people is how they will remember you. Food for thought for my own heart… am I loving enough? It is something God has brought to my attention before because I sometimes get too focused on what I am getting instead of what I am giving.

The Apostle Paul (and I have grown to love the Apostle Paul greatly this last decade of my life, he is a misunderstood fella) gave us a great description of love regardless of your position on faith.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.⁸ Love never ends… (NET)

When I read scripture like that I have to re-evaluate my perception of love because it often loses this definition. I don’t know what you are going through, what you have been through, or who is in your life but it is my deep hope and prayer that you are loved well, you are loved often (and that love is healthy and without abuses) AND that you reciprocate that love. Above all else know that you have a Savior that loves you beyond measure just as you are. Good Morning Ladies…

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I was getting ready to leave my house. You know that glimpse out of the corner of your eye as you’re doing something else. My girls were getting their back to school haircuts today and I was trying to apply some make-up (least I scare every person we encounter). It was that glimpse in the mirror that left me thinking, give me skinny arms Lord. Now, I can hear my sister shake her head and tell me that is ridiculous both my sisters actually, in fact even my adopted sisters. BUT beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this morning it was my eye on me. We tend to be our worst critic.

It started back when we were at the beach a few weeks ago; my youngest daughter pointed out that the back of my arm is “jiggly.” Ouch! Geesh! Kids are brutal.  Since then I’ve kept an eye on my arms. While I do workout five days a week, I have moved away from weights to more cardio but since that lovely conversation with my daughter I have begun to add some weights back into my routine… I’m not looking for muscular arms,  just arms that don’t jiggle… lol

Truthfully, I am not a fan of weights, I have had my fair share of shoulder injuries one landed me in physical therapy for almost a year (so I tread lightly around weights). The only muscle I really want to work and grow would be my faith muscle. Puny faith muscles are not appealing among Christians. It’s true we all want to have big faith, pray big, pray longer, pray better, or the famous just believe, etc… sigh.

Jesus said if you have faith the size of a mustard seed then it would be effective (even through a little bit of faith God can move). I often teach faith is like a muscle you have to work it in order for it grow because we want our faith to grow and it’s a simple concept the kids can get. Faith is believing in something you can’t feel with your senses so to speak. Faith is not easy, in fact faith is hard. Christians will paint faith as being easy, “just believe” they will say which usually leaves you scratching your head thinking if it was that easy then I’d believe! In the simplest terms faith is trusting that God has your best interest at heart. Ah, that trust is difficult to build up if you don’t have a relationship with the Lord and even then, it can be trying.

I’d like to tell you that I trust the Lord immensely and never question Him but that would be a big fat lie. I am constantly giving “stuff” to the Lord and then taking it back, laying “issues” down at His feet and then quietly walking back and picking them back up. That is not very good trust but I am just keeping it real. In fact, I have to apologize to the Lord almost on a weekly basis because I keep taking back stuff I gave Him; that is a trust issue. I often pray, Lord help my unbelief!

For example: Yes, Lord my future is all Yours… then I’ll start fretting over the future… Inviting God into my mess then shutting the door so He has to stand outside of it… ah the examples could go on. Needless to say, the only muscle I want to grow would be that of my faith. Nobody wants jiggly arms, nobody wants jiggly faith. I want to grow my trust in the Lord. When we trust the Lord, we honor Him and I want my life to honor the Lord.

But I still want skinny arms!!  (just not skinny faith) 😊  Good Afternoon Ladies!

ps. jiggly or giggly ? hmmm

It is quiet in my house this morning which means two things: 1. My kids are still sleeping and 2. The Thug has decided to stay in his pen despite that it’s open.

It’s August and I can feel the quietness of the house settling in as we prepare for school to begin. This has been a very busy summer but it has been one of our best summers. We’ve had cousins stay with us, dinner parties, beach time, late summer night swimming in the pool, friends over, and the list could go on. Despite all the “fun-ness” I can feel the ebb of sadness begin to flow, like a tide. At this stage in my life I usually chalk it up to hormonal imbalance because I am forty and have started perimenopause or so I believe.

 I don’t know about you but throughout my life l have dealt with mild depression and anxiety. It’s been a while since I’ve dealt with true depression thank the Lord because those are dark times, I won’t lie in those dark times I have thought about death and I would cry out to the Lord, please take this from me, it’s too much to bear. No matter the situation or my desperation the Lord was there, it does not mean He put me there but that He was there to help me climb out.

As Christians, we aren’t supposed to talk about that kind of stuff because there is this false stigma that we are supposed to be happy non-stop, joyful, full of bliss- that is a bunch of gibberish non-sense. One of my favorite people of the bible is Elijah. (yeah, I do like the OT, I am a nerd like that) Elijah was a mighty prophet for the Lord, great and wonderful things he did for God but at the heart of that mighty prophet was a man with fear, anxiety, and depression… he wasn’t immune to the sufferings of an emotional heart and mind. Oh, religious people would like you to think so but it isn’t true.

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah, finds himself running for his life, his faith had been depleted and he ended up in the desert to die. At this point Elijah is depressed, anxious, and worn-out. So, he tells God to just kill him. I love that God showed up and showed out (even if you aren’t a believer it’s a great rescue story). After giving Elijah, a pep talk and some provision, Elijah is instructed to go wait on Mount Horeb…

This is my favorite part because three things occurred on that mountain: fire, wind, and an earthquake but God wasn’t in those things. So, often in life we get ourselves into these trenches and we want God to show up in some flashy way. In fact, we often times will look for over the top signs that God is around… and here is one of my favorite bible verses about God… 1 Kings 19:12… After the fire, there was a soft whisper.

A soft whisper, a gentle voice, a soothing sound that was the Lord! He was not in the harsh wind, or the damaging earthquake, or the consuming fire (God can certainly be all those things and more) BUT… He was a soft whisper to this old prophet’s ears. I won’t break down the word soft but it has many different meanings one being forgiving. God had and has a forgiving voice… blink, blink… that is huge to me… a forgiving voice!

But I love the picture this paints of God He is loving and tender with this old, worn-out, cranky, depleted man… I love this story because it gives us insight into the people God uses and they are not always happy, joyful, and full of blissfulness. Nope, they like us deal with fear, anxiety, sadness, and even depression. They get themselves into trenches and need assistance getting out… That comforts me and I hope it comforts you… lets tune our ears so we can hear that soft whisper today… Good Morning Ladies!

PS. I think people have a tendency to read that and gloss over the fact that God was a soft whisper, they get caught up in Elijah being taken to heaven in a fiery chariot. While that is mind-blowing it doesn’t bring me comfort what brings me comfort is how God reacted to His servant Elijah when Elijah lost all hope and gave up. God reacted with gentle kindness and concern, not harsh judgment.