Sometimes wearing all the “hats” that my life requires of me: mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, etc… I become exhausted and I feel depleted. There are moments I just want to go into prayer and slowly dance with the Holy Spirit. Just a slow, back and forth swaying motion of the Spirit enveloping me: mind, body, and spirit.

The demands of my life make me weary and there are just moments that I need renewed. Two days ago was one of those days, it was the beginning of the week, it was a Monday, it was a bad day, a day of fumbling, and grumbling. There was a moment I was tripping over the dog’s gate and I could hear the profanity fly out of mouth before I could retract the words (and the bad kind of profanity too, don’t act like there aren’t levels of profanity, let’s keep it real here).

It was the end of the month AND it was a MONDAY; the skylight was leaking (again), my tire was leaking air, my mother’s water heater was broke, my house was disgustingly dirty, etc… the list could go on, I felt defeated. I finally got into study late Monday night to work on the bible study class I lead (frightening that God would put me in charge of such a ministry). The day had gotten away from me and I didn’t make time for prayer and my heart could feel it. It was a day like that…

Today as I went into prayer, I asked God “what would YOU have me say?” and I just wanted to dance slowly with the Holy Spirit, soaking in all His goodness, being drenched in His wonderful presence. So I asked the Holy Spirit to come dance with me to blanket me in His presence. I sat and swayed with my eyes closed, talking to the Lord, in blissful isolation away from the rest of my house in a restoration only the Lord can bring.

It sounds a little funny asking the Holy Spirit to dance with me, doesn’t it but that is how I felt, and it’s what I needed. Oh, the tears came, sitting in that holy union, the tears came that wash away the hurt and renew a heart. The soothing presence like healing balm for my soul.

I don’t know how your week is going but I encourage you to take a step aside and just dance with the Lord… sometimes the dance is fast, joyful, and full of cheer…but sometimes the dance is slow, steady, and a just the right rhythm of sway to make your wondering, wounded heart want to stay…. and I was gently reminded of the power of prayer and how desperate my worn out, thirsty, soul needs it…

Good Afternoon Ladies…

I am forever rereading the Old Testament. In Exodus 5-6 Moses pleads his inadequacies to the Lord and God once again tells him to go anyway. Why? Because God understands the devil will manipulate us with our emotions, halting us in our footsteps that lead us to discovering God’s plans for our life.

God is not telling Moses he is “good enough” but rather he has been prepared enough for the work ahead. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in being “good enough” or having the right adequacies we’ll never discover God’s plan for our life and probably never allow ourselves to be used by God.

It’s not so much about qualifications as the preparations God has created within us which actually do equip us for the work. As Jesus said “no one is good except God.” ^{Luke 18:19} We too often equate good with an expectation/need to be perfect, that is a faultlessness. This notion is ridiculous and not on point spiritually. Nobody has been perfect since before the fall of Adam and Eve. God stop looking for perfection a long time ago.

What God is searching for is “will” and a “heart” completely surrendered to Him. When we give our will to the Lord paired with full surrenderment of  our heart we become qualified, even to confront kings if necessary!

Paul said in Ephesians 2:10 we are God’s workmanship in Christ for good works which were prepared beforehand. No where does Paul talk about perfection, accomplishments, or eligibility outside of Christ Jesus. This gives me peace of mind and a fullness in heart.

Even though Moses was discouraged, anxious, and vexed…God expected him to go forward…there is no time to stand still when God calls us to act, no time to fret about fears, expectations, or credentials. We are called to be God’s movement in the world, especially moving in our “sphere” of life. Moses was that motion (of action) in Egypt, he was God’s movement of liberation, confrontation, and revitalization of faith for his people (his sphere of life).

Exodus 6:7  I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

Whatever your “Egypt” is don’t allow it to control what you do for the Lord!

Good Afternoon Ladies!

As I sat down in prayer this afternoon I told God – this is a Good Place to Be… aka. This season of life.

When I was a teenager I never wanted children (no seriously, I didn’t), fast forward twenty something years later and I have three. I wouldn’t change anything. In fact, I can’t imagine my life without kids, especially my kids. When I was younger I would stress over my house being unclean, the floors not being swifted, washed, and “waxed” to perfection. The younger me fretted over many things that the me now just doesn’t care about. I am too keenly aware that one day (and all too soon as I have teenagers) my house will be silent and I will miss the mayhem my kids bring. I will miss the madness that early life produces while you are just trying to figure it all out, even though I am now in “mid-life”.

I can tell you that despite my efforts (not my best efforts but effort) to keep my floors cleaned and dishes put away it seldom stays that way… and jimmy crack corn… I just don’t care anymore… There are never enough towels clean, despite the best efforts, socks still go missing somehow, and wash clothes are scarce. Walking into my son’s room is like walking into another dimension of untidiness, twight light zone of dirt and grime… jimmy crack corn… I just don’t care anymore.

And I am constantly going to the store forgetting to get what I went there for, leaving with stuff not on my list, not in my budget, only to go back to retrieve what I needed in the first place while still  managing to purchase items not of my list and still out of budget. Target is addictive… Am I the only one?

All casualness aside though we do clean for company- keeping up a good appearance is all we can manage, don’t judge, you can relate too (it’s really about just being presentable). Lately, I find myself up to my eye balls in homework, spelling words, division, college books to be bought for the boy, music lessons, dogs that poop in their crate, stray cats that adopt us, senior dogs that keep me up half the night; all the wonderful delicious ingredients that make the soup I call life (my life) and it’s a good place to be!

It’s taken me a long time to get to this point, that is the realization that I like the noise of life with kids, chaos, animals, messes, in fact I love it. Hold tight to the ones you love because people come and go out of this life and seasons change all to quickly.

Find happiness in your madness… 😉

PS. “I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself.” Wild Women Quote

This morning as I was working out I started to think about people in my life that have abandoned their faith because of unanswered prayers. This ways heavy on my heart as I trek into my first graduate class: Theology of Prayer.  Unanswered prayers are difficult to process and the very thing the devil will use to make us feel unimportant to the Lord. sigh… feelings are tough.

I want to tell you unanswered prayers are no reason for you to stop communicating with God. After all He is constantly trying to get our attention and we seldom pay attention, yet He patiently waits on us. How much it is like a child to demand their way and then ignore the voice of their parent for selfish purposes. Self becomes more important than God and so when our demands are not met we simply say “Well God didn’t answer my prayer so I am done with Him, or Since He doesn’t help those in need, those that deserve it I don’t want anything to do with Him, or He lets innocent people suffer, etc…” so goes our list of excuses to write God out of our life and the devil banks on that happening too…

As Job was being tested in faith, his wife wanted him to curse God and be done with it so his suffering would stop (thinking God would kill him for that behavior). Job however had an incredible response to such a flimsy perspective of faith and God.

Job 2: ⁹ His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” ¹⁰ He told her, “You’re talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God.

Faith in God requires you to take risk. It also requires you to be patience and follow through with your commitment to Him. Why? Because He is fully committed to you!

So often we make prayer about our own desires even if they are the most noble requests; therefore when God does not respond in a miracle we either 1. Lose faith or 2. become angry at God and write Him off as not being just. Sigh… that is not a very fair relationship is it?

Being real with myself: I have to ask myself do you go around rescuing every puppy, kitten, homeless animal, homeless person you encounter (and wanting to is not the same as actually doing)? Do you feed all the hungry on this earth albeit an animal or person? Do you give to every charity cause that asks? My answer is no how could I?

This would require me to communicate through miracles on a daily basis and I am not equipped to do that. Most people are not gifted to produce miracles on that kind of scale but most of all miracles are not everyday communications tools. So often we go through life not communicating with God, not putting any effort into a relationship with Him, and then call Him up on short notice and ask for a miracle. While God is capable of producing miracles it is not His preferred method of communication. This is important to understand because the devil uses this concept against us and our relationship with the Lord.

When Elijah was on the mountain waiting for God to speak to Him three intense, over the top things occurred: an earthquake,  windstorm, and a firestorm; yet God was not in any of those things. Elijah had expected God to be in one of those things, communicating to him but that is not how God chose to communicate with Elijah… He was a gentle quiet whisper. A whisper! (1 Kings 19:12)

Sometimes its not the answer God wants us to concentrate on (despite how important it may be to us) but instead learning (to trust Him) and His voice which is not in over the top answers done through miracles. He doesn’t want us to become dependent on miracles as communication of His love for us. He would rather us learn the small whisper of His voice than rely on over the top displays of His power because the whisper in itself is a miracle! That God would reach out to imperfect, broken people, and want to be with us is a miracle of love daily.

Too often we don’t listen to God throughout our everyday life and then expect Him to prove His love to us through a miracle. Why? 1. Miracles make us feel special and 2. because miracles are fun to look at, go big or go home mentality- that is not fair. Your love for your family and friends is best shown in everyday mundane task of  caring-not over the top spectacles (of power). Faith is trust, prayer is communication. It is this type of communication that helps you trust God even if you don’t understand what He is doing. Faith is difficult because you’re not in control and that is a vulnerable place to be (especially during prayer). Faith has everything to do with the will of God and not ours, knowing He wants the best for us.

Let me close this blog with this: If your prayer goes unanswered know you are in good company. King David’s prayer for his infant son to be healed went unanswered and yet David was still called a man after God’s own heart. When prayer is not answered in the way we deem fit we must hang onto faith, in God’s ability to know what is best, after all we see only a small piece of the picture while God sees the entire thing: past, present, and future.

I hope that in 2018 you learn to push through in faith even if God doesn’t answer your prayers the way you desire and know that God’s love is not about displaying His power to you by over the top demonstrations but to comfort you by standing with you in every circumstance you face so you are not alone. God is a gentle, quiet whisper and I love that about Him.

Good Afternoon Ladies!

Everybody is picking their “word” for the year. I had never heard of this before last week when someone asked me what my “word” was going to be. If I had to pick a word for 2018 it would be FORWARD. Forward is not going back to what was but moving ahead in what will be. Forward is about making progress one step at a time, week by week, as each month goes by. It is about moving onward and discovering what God has in store for my life tomorrow.

This is the year I want to let go of bitterness, hurt feelings, and anger issues. I want to be full of light, peace, goodness, honesty, determination, faithfulness, patience, joy, contentment, happiness, forgiveness, wholeness, and most of  all (for me) the Holy Spirit. I don’t want to be in pieces this year and by that, I mean living in the past, recanting what wrong someone has done to my heart controlled by emotion.

Sometimes what is before us is not about the “why” but about the “where.” Where do we go from here? How do we get from here to there because there is where we should be, that is moving Forward and it’s the trail I want to be on.

In Luke 2 Anna is introduced, she was a woman full of enthusiasm about God’s work being done. She joyfully sacrificed while she faithfully in zeal worshipped the Lord… She was in a constant movement of FORWARD. She inspires me. She is one of my inspirations for 2018.

Whatever you are doing, do it in a forward motion so you can make progress and not stay in the same place. FORWARD is my word for the year.

Good Nite Ladies!

PS. yall pray for me I start graduate school this month.. O-o