I have been teaching a series called Dysfunctional Families of the Bible because in the church we have a propensity to look at the super heroes of the bible and ignore how they got to be super heroes of faith. I have often heard preachers use a passage from the bible and then point to the congregation accusingly and tell us to be more like that but leaving the audience with little or no encouragement on how to develop faith through our dysfunction. I approach teaching the scriptures a little different.
Today, God moved in my life despite the amount of dysfunction I generate. Today I sat in a hospital room with my husband as he waited to have his second kidney stoned blasted to pieces, my attitude was not the greatest. Not being in control pushes me to become a rather unpleasant person and, in a hospital, you are usually not in control. I was also waiting on news of my uncle as he lay on life support in another state, sure enough as I am sitting in the pre-operating room with my husband (the one you lose all dignity in with the gown, IVs, nurses, etc…), I got the news my uncle had passed. I sat there with deep anxiety knowing my husband was about to go into the O.R. be sedated, intubated, and out of my reach for several hours. October is a rough month for our family, my stepfather passed away six years go in October and my brother in law four years ago in October, and recently my uncle too. My husband sat before me in his vulnerable state, hospital gown, hair net, IVs, medicated patch on, calf compresses, and I thought this is my world sitting before me… Fear crept in. Fear is dysfunctional. Fear is not from God. Fear pushes us out of the comfort of God and whirls us into a tornado of irrational dysfunctional thinking. Fear is consuming if you don’t squash it. I was struggling to squash this fear as emotions kicked in.
Suddenly the room phone rang, handed the phone to my husband, and next thing I know I am being told the stone was gone. This morning x-ray revealed the stone was gone. The big fat stone that was on the x-ray last week, the stone that my husband would not be able to pass, the stone that was putting a crimp in him getting his first class medical renewed as a captain (airline pilot) was gone! Blink, blink. G-O-N-E!!!
In the middle of my dysfunctional life, my internal meltdowns, my weary faith God reached out to me and pulled me into faith. God was seeking me despite my state of mind or my emotional irrationality. God was pursuing to uphold me (let that sink in for a minute, an ordained pastor here, imperfect faith, God covered me, and reached down on my behalf, to raise me out of my silent pit.. what incredible love!). Faith. Faith pulls us into God’s will, faith feeds our spirit, faith feeds us hope, faith renews our heart… Faith enables me to breathe worship… God’s desire is that we develop faith in Him!
I don’t know what you are facing or where you have been. I don’t know if you have a big mess or a small mess, but I do know God is more than enough! Invite Him into your mess and then lean into the hope that only He can bring. Long ago the stone was rolled away… but today the stone vanished, departed as God touched my husband…and (improved)/proved my faith. Never doubt God’s great love for you! Or that He is a personal God with a personal agenda just for you!
Good Afternoon Ladies…
Isaiah 41: 10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you; don’t be distressed, for I am your God. I give you strength, I give you help, I support you with my victorious right hand.