Remember when you were a child and you had to rest and you thought life was so hard. Children never want to rest even when it’s best for them. Oh, they complain something fierce when they have to rest and recover from an illness. Seasons of rest have purpose too. Rest is hard isn’t it? I have been in a season of rest, not because I have been ill but to avoid burnout. At first, I was happy about this season but quickly I began to whine and feel restless. I didn’t feel productive enough, I failed to see the productivity in the rest because I failed to see my purpose. What is my purpose if I am not doing for God? I am a doer for God, doing makes me feel productive and when I am productive I feel I have purpose. So not doing makes me feel unproductive which leaves me feeling like I have no purpose. Sigh, the webs we weave. I have learned the difference between restlessness and stirred. Restlessness leaves you feeling incomplete, empty of sorts, anxious, and confused. To be stirred brings motivation, encouragement to complete the task and season at hand, and assurance God is with you. God does not bring us the feeling of restlessness because He doesn’t move in chaos. Instead God calls us out of chaos and into order that inspires and assures us. God is the great encourager!

I am learning it is okay to be still for a season. This does not diminish purpose even though it feels like it. We come from an over active society, everybody is running there, everybody is doing this, life is a whirl of hectic blurred vision of comings and goings. The message society gives us is that if we are not in constant motion we are not being productive therefore we can’t possibly have purpose.

God’s methods are not parallel to the world’s methods, He works things out for the good of His people, which usually requires at some point stillness; thus, Psalms 46 says “be still and know that I am God.” Stillness is sitting motionless before the Lord in the quiet of His presence while He renews your heart and soothes all the unseen wounds you have absorbed. Stillness is learning the Lord’s voice as we wait for new instructions. Stillness is not for the faint of heart but if we allow it what stillness brings is tranquility. A sea of serenity, calming, gentle, and comforting to weary hearts.

Here is what I am in the process of learning in this season (and it is such a difficult season read previous blog) it is okay to be still for a season. This does not diminish purpose. It will however slow productivity down for a time but this is for a greater out-pouring. I have had to tell myself stop whining during your rest and begin to ask God for vision and preparation for a better outflow of works when He calls upon you. It’s important we learn to be prepared to be ready.

I have had to learn new tactics the enemy is throwing at me and it has not been easy. I have had some failures and some victories. The devil loves to attempt to drown us in turmoil: chaos, confusion, and discontentment. I think dissatisfaction is one the most used weapons of the devil. One of my battles is discontentment. I think this is a distraction that the devil uses so I stop focusing on God.  Victories are won through battle, trusting God can be a battle if we are discontent with the season He has placed us in.

I don’t know your season or your battle but I hope you learn to cultivate your faith in God and know He will see you through. That God has purpose for what you are facing even if you can’t see it now, He sees it.

Proverbs 3: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Good Afternoon Ladies…

If my life were a movie scene right now it would be Molly Ringwald and Michael Anthony Hall in Sixteen Candles… “Its physically impossible for me to get happy.” I have been quoting that line for the last few weeks. Yes, we are big quoters in this family… (I am aware quoters is not a real word.) O-o

I don’t know how you have been feeling but lately I have been in a pretty ugly funk. It’s the kind of funk brought on by several factors: hormones (rage, cry, etc…), a mid-life crisis of sorts, and not having a church home at the moment. The hormones are a wreck in themselves and I eat pretty keto and when I don’t I am eating low carb -high fat that means no sugar, no processed foods, no wheat/gluten. I say this because diet can cause all kinds of issues but mine is pretty clean. Mid-life crisis, the usual I am restless (which I know is not from God), I would love to move back to my home town but I am tethered to my current city so my kids can finish school or the majority of them (one is in college, one in high-school, one in middle school). My home town has changed so much that we almost feel like nomads, gypsies without a home base when go visit. I feel isolated and alone, do you ever feel that way? Everyone is busy with their lives, life is hectic and rushed. I am one of those people that is like send me an invite but you know I am not going to attend. I just need to know you still care through the invitation- ha! I look at people with pep in their step and I am like if only, how do they stay so peppy? How do they remain in joy? I feel like I am over here drowning. Drowning in life changes that are occurring to me (via hormones), drowning in a probable mid-life crisis, drowning in not knowing exactly what God is saying to me, what direction He is sending me in. AHHHHH…. It’s enough to make me want to eat a big fat sundae or down a bottle of wine… but really it means I need to head into prayer. FUNK… and it’s not the Uptown Funk that features Bruno Mars… I wish! You know that feeling of “blah” you don’t really want to participate, you don’t really want to stay home, you don’t really want to do anything but you want to do something, have some kind of variation in life. What’s a girl to do when she needs a transformation in her life?  Here is what I’d like to say: there are going to be times your family and friends are too busy for you not because they don’t love you but because life in today’s world is a whirl of blur on most given days. There will be times in your life you feel let down, alone, and even confused; in those moments you have to keep moving forward. Forward as in advancing onward, propelled ahead from the last the step you made. Those steps are so hard to make in silence, alone, and sometimes running on empty (Jackson Brown). The last month has been a very difficult one for me: anxiety has been high, depression was lurking around, and the rage (ah the rage that bubbles up at times)… also the uncertainty about what God was/is doing in my life… pair this was restlessness and a mid-life crisis and you have the perfect recipe for a forty something meltdown.

I like the way The Message bible (commentary) has Romans 8: 25 All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance… ^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves….

The Apostle Paul goes on to say in Romans 8: ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Despite what I am going through or how alone I feel, or whatever may be happening within me I know that I am really never alone, I know that I can always go to Jesus no matter the day or time. I love that the Apostle Paul encourages us to remember we were created to be champions. A conqueror overcomes, defeats, and masters. Sometimes the hardest battle to overcome is within… You are not alone, we are all battling something.

Psalms 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the people. I marvel at that verse. God displays His power among the people… that is incredible when you really look at people. What love, what compassion, what forgiveness, and what encouragement God has for us! God is personal in nature, desiring to be part of our messy, loud, unkempt lives… to display His love through incredible displays of affection. Even when I don’t know, I trust that God does know and has a plan… especially in my hormonal, stormy, out of control temper, mid-life crisis life.

Good Afternoon Ladies!