There is Triumph in the Trying….

Do we live life with an expectation upon us? This is a question I have been pondering as a Christian. I think everyone has the expectation of doing what is decent and humane placed upon them that is being a civilized human being. However, I think as a believer many feel that once they cross that salvation threshold there is no expectation upon them and that grace is a free-card. This is not true. I think as believers we have expectation upon us. The expectation that we will do what is moral and righteous. While grace does cover us, it is not a free pass to do what ever we want or say what ever we want on the contrary it is a ladder to assist us in achieving what God has placed in front of us. It is the aid to help us love ourselves and those around us better. It is the tool that teaches us to forgive ourselves and those around us because to love better means we are learning forgiveness.

Expectation means hope or anticipation. God is excited about us… that is incredible when you consider the mess we are in as a creation. It is easy to overlook that God has hopes for you and dreams He has placed within you with expectation that you will reach them. An expectancy placed upon you. The Apostle Paul says we are God’s workmanship, any builder that builds has an expectation for his masterpiece. We have been created by the master builder, the ultimate Creator with purpose which to me indicates we have expectation for our life… Unlike human beings I don’t think God is disappointed when we fall short, I think in His mercy, He stands us back up and encourages us to try again. Unlike humans God does not shame us when we fall short of the expectation that is placed upon us (nor does He take our dreams from us but continues to have hope we will achieve them) .In the gaming world we get a do-over so to speak. That is part of grace, the grace that covers us. Expectation is not limited to legalism or confined to religious dogma but it is a hope that we will continue in the Father’s work. It is a hope that we will continue allowing Him access to the deepest parts of inners so we continue in the transformation ourselves. This is where spirit transforms the physical, it is where the physical reveals the spirit, and it is painstaking work filled with expectation.

I would like to say that I always live up to the expectancy on my life but in truth I do not. In reality I am living from one grace refill, one grace redo, one grace paycheck to another despite that my “bank” is full, I find it hard to break the mentality that I have to scrape to get by with God. This is the humanity coming out of me as I struggle within the warm pool of compassion and love, I am allowed to soak in. However, with God there should always be an anticipation of His goodness towards us despite that we are intensely harsh with ourselves and others. That goodness prepares us for the expectation regardless if we always meet it. I don’t know about you but there are days I can live up to the expectation on me like a champion that has been training her whole life for the game and there are days I fail at it miserably as if I had never trained a day in my life. The lines of righteousness and selfishness get blurred and oh… the temper, impatience, and fatigue drain my efforts.

I long to live in those moments when I am keenly aware, acutely present to when spirit and physical meet. This year in 2019 I am going to attempt to live on a day to day basis with goals in mind. And when I do not meet that goal, I will reflect, regroup, reconnect, and move forward. I will not allow failure to define me when I run short on living up to expectation because God does not look at me as a failure, He does not see me as person failing but as a woman trying… We over look the “trying” and focus all our energy on the results but there is a lot to be said about the trying. There is victory in the struggles of our life which I think God celebrates. There is triumph in the trying!

1 Samuel 16:7 …”For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”