For the last few days I have been thinking about the phrase “new normal.” New normal is when the comfort of our familiar has changed. New normal can be exciting or disconcerting depending on what is prompting it. Nonetheless, at some point, new normal will become just normal. For all of you out there facing a new normal, I wanted to take a moment to offer you some comfort, in assuring you that at some point your new normal will eventually become routine, it will become customary, familiar, and established in your life. In saying that I also want to state that, it does not mean new normal is forever, life is full of seasons, some are short, some are longer. I think the key is to find the comfort in the new normal which may take some time but at some point, you will drift into. Drifting is difficult because we want every new circumstance, we find ourselves in to be familiar and comfortable; however, those things take time to establish. Give yourself permission to grieve for the old normal but pick yourself up and walk into the new normal with purpose. New normal does not necessarily mean God has placed you there or desired you to be in that particular situation but you can rest assure He will bring purpose to it. In each season of life, we are called to put on our new self, looking with a fresh perspective, trusting that God will not leave us alone and bring meaning to what we are facing. The devil does not want any purpose to transpire out of your pain, he would rather keep you captive to it, aimless wondering why… drenched in sorrow, suspicion, and uncertainty.

God brings purpose wherever He goes, that is reason for season. Without sounding to spiritual or preachy, God most desires that we trust Him; therefore, He will take our new normal and use it to His advantage which is in our best interest in growing our faith in Him. God will bring peace to our new normal because His presence brings a soothing calm that only the Creator can.

From our most exalted moments to the depth of our darkest hour, God will not abandon us. John 14:18 Jesus says “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  Joshua 1:9… “Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

The devil had no idea a New Normal would come from the cross, a symbol of suffering and death… God brought purpose to that symbol, He brings life through it, and with it unendless New Normals…  God has a plan for your “new normal,” find some small comfort in that and let it envelope you like a warm cocoon, until you find yourself nestled into the arms of your Savior.

It is my prayer you find peace in your new normal whatever that maybe… Good Morning Ladies…

Sometimes in the roaring of my life I get a glimpse of how unworthy I am but YOU, Lord never make me feel that way. You embrace me regardless of how many flaws that keep revealing themselves. Despite that I am covered in scabs, wounds, blemishes; thus, so many scars… scars of misunderstanding, scars of being unlovable, scars of being untouchable, scars of being non-teachable… You gently tend to me despite my kicking and screaming.

Sometimes I see my shadow following me and I am reminded of where I come from…so much unworthiness of Your goodness, Your tenderness, Your patience, Your love. There are days I sing of your love, days I can only sit in Your presence but like Moses I dare not lift my eyes to You the Holy One, days I cry out to You, days I argue with you like Jacob wrestling with You in my own secret desert, the dry place of my life that makes me parched for renewing, and days I find myself walking in the wilderness, the wasteland of regret and sorrow, a barren place that yields no fruit but You always find me, You never stop pursuing me.

I will not remain in things of the past, things of yesterday, I will not be defined by my shadow or consumed by the wilderness, I will press forward with all my might, fighting against the angry waves of a broken, hurting world, the very things the devil would drown me with: anxiety, depression, doubt, fear, pain, uncertainty, and loneliness… No, within my fight to thrive I will remember I am loved because You have loved me with an everlasting love that is unbreakable and forever binding. A thousand suns couldn’t compare to Your light in my life, the warmth that sustains me but never consumes, the fire that illuminates the way but never devours me.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.                                                       

Good Evening Ladies…                                                                                       

Jeremiah 31: …3 the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. 4 Again I will build you (up)….

There is Triumph in the Trying….

Do we live life with an expectation upon us? This is a question I have been pondering as a Christian. I think everyone has the expectation of doing what is decent and humane placed upon them that is being a civilized human being. However, I think as a believer many feel that once they cross that salvation threshold there is no expectation upon them and that grace is a free-card. This is not true. I think as believers we have expectation upon us. The expectation that we will do what is moral and righteous. While grace does cover us, it is not a free pass to do what ever we want or say what ever we want on the contrary it is a ladder to assist us in achieving what God has placed in front of us. It is the aid to help us love ourselves and those around us better. It is the tool that teaches us to forgive ourselves and those around us because to love better means we are learning forgiveness.

Expectation means hope or anticipation. God is excited about us… that is incredible when you consider the mess we are in as a creation. It is easy to overlook that God has hopes for you and dreams He has placed within you with expectation that you will reach them. An expectancy placed upon you. The Apostle Paul says we are God’s workmanship, any builder that builds has an expectation for his masterpiece. We have been created by the master builder, the ultimate Creator with purpose which to me indicates we have expectation for our life… Unlike human beings I don’t think God is disappointed when we fall short, I think in His mercy, He stands us back up and encourages us to try again. Unlike humans God does not shame us when we fall short of the expectation that is placed upon us (nor does He take our dreams from us but continues to have hope we will achieve them) .In the gaming world we get a do-over so to speak. That is part of grace, the grace that covers us. Expectation is not limited to legalism or confined to religious dogma but it is a hope that we will continue in the Father’s work. It is a hope that we will continue allowing Him access to the deepest parts of inners so we continue in the transformation ourselves. This is where spirit transforms the physical, it is where the physical reveals the spirit, and it is painstaking work filled with expectation.

I would like to say that I always live up to the expectancy on my life but in truth I do not. In reality I am living from one grace refill, one grace redo, one grace paycheck to another despite that my “bank” is full, I find it hard to break the mentality that I have to scrape to get by with God. This is the humanity coming out of me as I struggle within the warm pool of compassion and love, I am allowed to soak in. However, with God there should always be an anticipation of His goodness towards us despite that we are intensely harsh with ourselves and others. That goodness prepares us for the expectation regardless if we always meet it. I don’t know about you but there are days I can live up to the expectation on me like a champion that has been training her whole life for the game and there are days I fail at it miserably as if I had never trained a day in my life. The lines of righteousness and selfishness get blurred and oh… the temper, impatience, and fatigue drain my efforts.

I long to live in those moments when I am keenly aware, acutely present to when spirit and physical meet. This year in 2019 I am going to attempt to live on a day to day basis with goals in mind. And when I do not meet that goal, I will reflect, regroup, reconnect, and move forward. I will not allow failure to define me when I run short on living up to expectation because God does not look at me as a failure, He does not see me as person failing but as a woman trying… We over look the “trying” and focus all our energy on the results but there is a lot to be said about the trying. There is victory in the struggles of our life which I think God celebrates. There is triumph in the trying!

1 Samuel 16:7 …”For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It seems December came and went, I was busy renovating parts of our house which will continue into the new year of 2019. This activity keeps me busy on my already busy schedule which makes me happy. I keep reading everyone’s “word” for the year. In center praying I have a word that I focus on, a word I want God to place with in me. My “word of the year” is different than my center prayer word but still is worthy to be noted in prayer and meditation. This year my “word” is radiant. I am going on the second year in a solo ministry and I have to admit the first year was up and down, while always glorious, I felt I lacked internal radiance. I picked radiant because I want to beam grace as I walk into the room. I want to joyfully illuminate even when others are not. I want to shine even if the fog of gloominess surrounds me through grumpy moods, impatient people, constant needs, and dysfunctional emotion. To keep radiant through that will not be easy but still it is my goal. It is my goal this year that God will help me recognize opportunities to give Him glory through serving others regardless of how often they may need my assistance instead of being annoyed. I think annoyance robs us of the joy of being used by God. Annoyance is self-serving focusing on self. When God calls us to work we should be happy and not irritated.

It is my prayer that I not grow weary of doing good this year and to remember that begins at home with family. Oh, home ministry can be very demanding and feel so unrewarding at times and it is the most important ministry mothers will ever do. The struggle is real at times.  It is my prayer that I am radiant in my speech which will reflect my attitude which will reveal the nature of my heart. I so desperately want God to be the center of my nature. It is my goal to remember that when one is blessed it should spill over into other’s lives because blessings were not meant to be horded but shared. That is true stewardship of love and grace. Grow our faith as we live out our life, grow our faith, not impede it… I don’t care who you are, what your back ground is, what mess you are in, or what people say about you… take time to grow your faith in 2019, take time to get to know God, not religion, but relationship with God… Psalm 18: 28 “You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”

Good Evening Ladies…

Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” Never forget you have been given a light, I pray it burns bright so that it illuminates the way for all those around you.