Sometimes in our struggle to see our worth we lose our ability to recognize that we were wonderfully made out of a perfection that cannot and does not need to be added too. Everything we need lies within us to achieve what God places in front of us. Sometimes during that struggle, we lose our ability to empathize with others and we forget to drink from the well of kindness and compassion called common decency and common courtesy because we are too consumed with our failures and what will not be be. During this haze we lose sight of everyday ordinary miracles that take place around us because we expect God to reveal Himself in over the top performances. God does not perform for us; for, He is not a performing God. When He doesn’t perform for us we feel one of two things 1. Either we must of failed and are not worthy of His help or 2. We feel abandoned by Him…
Neither is correct for He is grace and faithful, never will He abandon us- this has nothing to do with a performance but everything to do with His great love toward us. A performance is about a presentation, at times we become so focused on God’s presentation to us that we forget He is walking along side of us; thus, there is no time for a presentation. Why? He is in the trenches of everyday life with us conducting everyday ordinary miracles to sustain us where we are at. Why? Life is hard! Life is difficult! Life is challenging! Life is not all roses BUT it is has the potential to be fantastic, brilliant, and breathtaking and God wants that for us so He is remains in the trenches with us.
Lately I feel as though I am just treading water, if you know what I mean. I have had to stop and ask myself is this a midlife crisis? Is this just my wacky hormones? The struggle is real lately. The struggle to hear God’s voice. The struggle to see God in everyday life. The struggle to see if I am making a difference in others and for others. The struggle to be kind and compassionate. The struggle is real lately, maybe I am alone, I don’t know. But I look at some of my mentors, some of the women I want to be like (even at 41 I still want to be like certain people when I grow up) and I feel like I have missed it, that I am lacking something, and I just get deflated. I tread barely above water. What to do? Who to turn to? Who will truly understand? Sigh… The struggle is real. The sadness has been real. The depression and anxiety have been real. Again the struggle is real.
People fail because people are human and they are not perfect (me included). So the one person I know I can count on day or night, rain or shine, any and all hours… that is who I turn to and I wait, I wait on Him to answer and direct me. This makes the waiting the hardest part (Tom Petty fan yes I am).
Psalms 121: I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth…
I blog when I feel I have something to give and lately I have felt like I have nothing to give, I am just being honest on here. It’s hard not to compare what I perceive as a lack of success to my peers that are immensely full of success… at times it will knock the breath out of my heart and shake my stamina but I was taught to get back up and get back in the ring to which I have always done but lately it just seems more difficult. I turn to the scriptures for support. I love King David because David knew how to minister to himself and he did. I take his que and have learned to do that but it is not always easy. The devil loves to tear down our self-confidence and self-worth; thus, our meaning and purpose in life…leaving us flailing in our own self-pity of a pit saying woe is me. In the church we have a tendency to romanticize Christianity but being a Christian is anything but… we like to create this idea that Christianity is all sugar plums and sweetness but it is not. There is hurt, pain, and loss in Christianity… we struggle… sugar and spice and everything nice so the saying goes… oh that spice doesn’t always bring something nice… the struggle is real.
I don’t know if you are treading water, if you are flailing about in your own pit, or if you are in a grand place in life surrounded by blissful contentment- whatever place you are in I leave you with this scripture for the week.
Psalm 139: 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well…. no matter the rain falling on me I believe I was made for a purpose as I believe you were made for a purpose… emotions, feelings, experiences, hormones, etc… cannot take that from me, so I cling to the concept, I wrap my myself up in the idea I can make a difference and bridge a gap for someone to the Lord. the struggle is real.
Good Afternoon Ladies…
PS. Romans 9:17… “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” I believe we each have a calling that God’s extreme grace might be displayed through our life, that His goodness revealed to the world through us and because of that we will struggle; for the darkness wants to over shadow the light but it cannot. Even in the midst of the darkest nights the twinkling of the stars still shine on… We may fight to light our night sky but come what may near dawn will appear renewing of our strength for another day to press beyond.
The struggle may be real but greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world…